Monday 20 October 2014

What's in a number

OK so yesterday was our fortieth wedding anniversary. Why is the fortieth more important than the the thorny ninth or the forty first? To me each anniversary from the very first has been a cause to celebrate. Yet someone somewhere decided that some are better than others: the twenty fifth, the fiftieth or the sixtieth! Come to think of it every day of togetherness is sufficient cause to celebrate. The success of a marriage is to be able to fall in love every morning with the same person as everyone of us changes as time goes by and we need to accept and embrace the changes. If we are wise enough to understand that our love is safe.

Many people have huge parties to celebrate the social milestones of a marriage. I have never been one to do so. On those days I have wanted to be with those I love and be able to spend quality time. I recoil at the idea of dressing as a bride or renewing my vows. I renew them each day and more than never when faced with a challenge. That is when love is put to the test.

Marriage is a series of relationships that you stumble upon as you travel the journey of life. It often starts with that woolly feeling of falling in love, when the world is viewed through rose coloured glasses and everything seems right. But those glasses come off and you need to conjure the ones suitable for the moment you are living. And as you trudge along your relationship takes on many hues: you are friend, philosopher, guide, partner, companion and much more. You are the shoulder to cry on, the patient listener, the cheer leader, the devil's advocate and above all the honest critic even when it hurts. It is in being each of these and more that you secure your love and can move into the twilight years.

After forty years, I guess one has been all of the above as best one can. Today our love is bathed in comfortable quietude and often we do not even need word to comfort each other or to convey what needs to be said. One knows when to hold a hand or give a hug and when to remain mute. From the passion of the first moments one has moved into a comfortable zone when the yore years have found their place and only the future remains.

It is a blessed feeling that needs no loud revelry. Come to think of it every moment is a celebration

Tuesday 14 October 2014

A very special birthday wish

Today is my mother's Kamala's birthday, a blessed day in more ways than one. At the crack of dawn I got my almost daily Skype call from my grandson. He is now old enough to call himself. He was keen to show me his 'new' computer - actually his father's old laptop! He was over the moon as he could now imitate his Bapu and type on the keyboard even if the computer did not work. Children have their unique make believe world, and only children excel at that. Ask me! I am an only child too! After typing his name, and mine he suddenly asked me a word beginning with K. Serendipitous  to say the least as Ma's name begins with a K. I spelt it out and told him it was my Mama's name and that today was her birthday. His hands immediately flew on the keyboard as he told me he was sending her a message. He was quick to tell me what he was writing: happy birthday; though I do not know you, I love you.

It was a magical moment. I gently told him that she loved him too and even if one could not see her, she saw us and specially him and always showered him with love and blessings.

The moment ended as the little fellow chased another thought yet in filled me with immense joy and I knew that Kamala was smiling!