Anou from 8 to 8

Gosh I feel a little like the protagonist of Cloe from 5 to 7. In this beautiful and sensitive film of the sixties Cloe the 'heroine' of the film waits for the results of a critical medical test. Yesterday after a long hiatus of more than 66 days (remember 66 days is what it takes to create a habit), we got Ranjan's tests done. I had forgotten the process and I must admit got used to a new normal where the elephant in the room had somehow vanished. It was a shock to have him hog the place again!

The blood counts were done and 'normally' should have been uploaded on the site of the very efficient lab by 5pm. Between 5 and 8 pm I must have checked the site umpteen times. Type in the lab number they give you, type in your surname that is the password, type in the verification code that changes every time and click on GO! Normally a PDF file appears and you download it. This time all of got was: Sorry for the inconvenience, your report is not available at the moment. This carried on till 9 pm.

You may have have guessed right, sleep was not forthcoming and the night somewhat disturbed. The what ifs were unending and the questions alarming. When things do not happen as expected, we humans have a tendency to think the worst.

Come morning and a few futile attempts again. Finally I have just sent someone to the lab to get the results and the waiting is killing me.

I have said many a times during this journey that things happen for the best. So let me try and seek the silver lining to this unexpected cloud. The past months have seen Ranjan getting better and better and resuming his activities albeit gently: one week end golf game instead of two, occasional visits to his office; three trips to Calcutta and an upcoming three day trip to Manipur this Sunday. He is putting on weight and even feels he needs to lose some. He is following a strict and wise regimen that gets disturbed occasionally. Life seems normal.

I guess the silver lining of this inordinate delay in getting the blood counts is a gentle reminder that we are living a 'new' normal lest we forget it. And the 'new' in this case is not to forget that there are cancerous cells in his body that need to be kept in check. It also means that I must keep in my toes scouring the Internet and all other source of information for new things to help keep the cancer cells at bay. For us normal has to the a new normal no matter what and above all one has to keep all sources of negativity and emotional stress far far away. That is of the essence as that is what makes the body go haywire and out of control.

I just heard the gate. The results are in and they are good. The haemoglobin that had once dipped to 7 is now at 12.30.

I am thrilled beyond words! And I guess Ranjan has earned the right to an extra shot of Scottish water and a cigar.