You say its your birthday

Paris 4th April 1956

You say it's your birthday, It's my birthday too, yeah sang the Beatles many years ago. Birthdays are special no matter which way you celebrate them or even if you don't as they mark the time you have spent in this world and take you one year closer to the day you take your final bow. When I look back over the past six decades of my life, I see how birthdays play a role you only realise in your twilight days and how they are actually milestones in the journey called life. Though I have a vague memory of my second birthday in Peking, yes it was Peking then, the first real memory would be of my 4th birthday. In those early years birthday's were actually special days for your parents, or at least that was the case with me the only child. In 1956 we were in Paris and my mother had got it in her head to get me ringlets not an easy task for one with ramrod straight hair! So the day began with a long session at the hairdresser's and then one had to stop by the professional photographer's as there were no digital cameras then! The yearly flouncy frock had already been bought and would be the going out party dress for the whole year. This is my parents rule: one nice dress on your birthday and toys at Xmas. Of course the day would end with a party for my school friends. This was birthday pattern lasted till I my early teens. Only the city changed: Peking, Paris, Rabat, Tunis, Saigon and Algiers! Oops I forgot the cake. Mama use to order the most fabulous cakes imaginable, with multiple tiers and whirling objects. There were games and treasure hunts and lots of fun. In those days the time between one birthday and the other seemed endless.

Then one grew up and it was the sixties. Rebellious times had arrived. The frocks were the first to be discarded. What I wore or how I did my hair was my decision: we had mini skirts and then frayed jeans to the horror of my doting parents who I guess did not want their child to grow. There were bangs that hid the eyes and then one fine day the hair was shorn to a pixie as Twiggy had appeared. The games were replaced by music and dancing. Birthday were still celebration time and growing up time as one awaited the ones that were real milestones with undue haste: 16, 18 and 21! In those days if one believes in Bergson's theory of time, it moved at a snail's pace if not slower.

Then time changed its perceptible duration and slowed down. More important birthday's became part of one's life' as husband and children entered your space and eagerness is replaced by habit, and you celebrate your birthday with the family till the day comes when your kids celebrate organise your birthday. You reach your 30 and 40s and then wait for the big one the 50th. But that too passes and you realise that the 365 days that looked like eternity when you were a kid or a teenager now fly faster than light till the day you realise that time is short and there are still many things on your bucket list. The birthday become a scary reminder of the indubitable reality that the final hurrah of your life can happen any moment as friends started passing on and you try to rush madly, list in hand hoping to tick the boxes along the way but your body has aged even if your mind is still that of a spring chicken.

62 and counting is where I am at, and in my case it is not only the loose ends of my family that I have to tie but also those of the family I acquired when I decided to talk a walk along the other side: my project why family that depends on me 100%. Scary!

I needed a shot in the arm so on this birthday I visited all my centres and was greeted with so much love and presents that had been made by the children. There was no way I could let them down and the body had to be revived so I have just signed for Pilates classes and made a birthday resolution: exercise come what may and eat healthy by turning vegan with a caveat: some cheat days!

The little girl with the ringlets is now an old biddy whose time is short and who has to set her house in order before the last birthday!

So help me God!