Hubris or comfort zone

It is so easy to fall prey to hubris or sink into a comfort zone. This seems to have happened to Ranjan and I for some time now. He looked so well and had resumed his active live, jet setting far more then he ever had and playing golf in scorching heat and pelting rain. For my part I admit I slackened the pace of my regimen a little and gave in to too many demands be it Scottish water of Cuban smoke not to forget Sugar the sweet poison hidden in so many things. With the quantum leap taken by his travels, the almost vegan organic diet we try and eat with a few cheat days often goes AWOL and I really do not know what goes in his body. When he comes back, I try and get rid of the toxins in the best way possible but it does not always work. I succumb to his entreaties, how can I not, he is the man I feel in love with at first sight. And then he looks so well that I often find myself wondering why some people one meets occasionally ask about his well being with such concern. The new normal I once feared has become just normal! Remember it takes 66 days for things to become a habit and thus for you to sink into a comfort zone and slowly give way to hubris.

Two days ago Ranjan even came to the inauguration of our new project and wonders of wonders spent time with the children, even reading to a little one with such tenderness that my heart melted again. This was nothing short of a miracle. How could I know that a rude awakening lurked around the corner. The same evening Ranjan's best friend dropped by and the rounds of Scottish water abounded. We all went to sleep. At 3 am or so R woke me up. He was burning with fever. Hubris and comfort zones were gone in a jiffy irrespective of the multiples of 66 we had experienced. Memories tucked away in some dark corner jumped to the fore and I was terrified. Where had I gone wrong? Where had I not put my foot down with needed authority? One thing was certain in my mind: I was responsible for this setback. Do the Gods get angry when you fail to express your undying gratitude? Did I dismiss the enemy too early? You know how your mind works when you are a control freak!

The next day I spun like a top between doctors and screen trying to find answers. By the end of the day we knew he had an UTI but then again the questions. Was he not drinking enough water? Where could he have caught the bug and so on and so forth.

What bothered me most was the fact that he had recently had to deal with a huge blow of emotional toxins which in my opinion is the worst form of toxicity. Mr H was the result of one such extended blow. I was not having another come my way. Perhaps the fever was a rude reminder of the fact that emotional toxicity has to be dealt with head on and there are no powders or brews that do the trick.

I have pulled up my proverbial socks and donned all the hats imaginable from Florrie Nightingale to Freud to Spouse Idéale to Doctor Anou to Researcher Bakshi and am on the move. So help me God!

R is better. I guess he needed some pampering and I needed some downtime with him!