I do not like your smell

I do not like your smell Nani, is what my little grandson told me recently. I normally do not 'smell'. On the contrary I am quite fond of Parisian fragrances and my lovely man always make sure that I am never in want. I guess there must have been some odour that he did not quite appreciate. I just laughed the comment away but it set me thinking, not about any unsettling stench but about life in general. Maybe I was just smelling 'old'!

I wanted to hold my little bundle of joy and tell him about the 'smell' but how do you tell a five year old that the redolence that emanates from you is the sum of your entire existence, an eclectic mix of good and bad that makes you that sixty two year old woman who was grown from being a baby to today via being a daughter, a friend, a wife, a mother and now a grand mother, not to forget a working woman and even a boss.

But the 'smell' he pointed out is one I wear with pride. I am glad my bonny boy reminded me of this 'smell' as I now recall a blogpost I had written almost two years ago when I felt the need to gown and get rid of the little red shoes and finally make my scapecoat. These are images from the incredible book titled Women who run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola-Estes, a book all women should read. The 'smell' is my scapegoat and I need not be ashamed of it at all.

The famous scapeCoat is a coat on which a woman  stitches details in painting, writing and with all manners of things pinned and stitched to it all the name-calling a women has endured I her life, all the insults, all the slurs, all the traumas, all the wounds, all the scars. It is her statement of her experience of being scapegoated and instead of burning it you hand it where you can see it everyday and pat yourself in the back for having borne all this with a smile and are still there to tell the tale.

I had forgotten this and the candid remark from the smiling boy brought back a promise I had made to myself two years ago.

I love my 'smell' and now it is time everyone else learns got love it too!