Last July the world as I knew it crashed. I too could have crashed with it had not an Angel taken my hand and shown me the way. I had less than 3 minutes to conjure a life that would replace the one that I was so comfortably ensconced in. 3 minutes, the time it took to go from my doctor's office to my home and climb the stairs to the room where my whole family waited for the verdict. I do not know which Angel guided me then as I announced in a almost cheery way that Ranjan had cancer. The mood I wanted to set was one of hope and optimism and certainly not place a humongous elephant in the room, specially after having lost two battles to the beast. In hindsight, I think that the Angels that helped them must have looked like the two people who gave me the gift life.
Ranjan has just left for a game of golf with his best friend and to anyone who has not seen him for the past 2 years, he looks just like he did when he was in the pink of life, barring maybe his Yul Brynner mane! Seeing him scoot off filled with me with joy but also made me realise how easy the dreaded roller coaster ride had been and most of all how many Angels had come to help me through this difficult time. It stuck like a bold that I could not have done this alone. It was time to look back and bow my head in gratitude to every Angel worked behind the scenes to make this day happen. I realise I began this journey just like the Little Prince who went bewildered from planet to planet, each more puzzling than the other but found the answers to every question that came my way.
So who are these Angels. I would like to be able to name each and everyone but will not do so to maintain good form, but nevertheless I will share the wonderful ways in which they touched my soul. I still do not know which Angel made me begin this blog. Without the possibility of pouring out my heart to the world, I would have crashed before taking off.
A screen, a keyboard, a mouse and the world wide web that breaks all barriers of time and space were my life saviours. I do not know how to thank the two persons who till that moment had remained remote and even somewhat inaccessible opened their heart to me unconditionally and bore with the dawn mails that I shot out every single day even though they are night people and sometimes must have just laid there head on their pillows when my mail reached them. They never failed to answer immediately and calm my fears or share my joy. They have been with me at every step of this journey. There is also a little girl who lives in a faraway land where it is night when my day dawns. We have an ongoing battle of whose hugs will reach first and she wins hands down. And that is not all. She has also been plying me with unexpected goodies that come as a surprise and lift my mood in a quantum leap. Then there is a wonderful uncle who has stood by me every inch of the way, a warrior facing the same enemy. His love and counsel have been precious.
My family of course has stood by me like a rock. My grandson is my partner in arms to get Ranjan his nanou do all that is required be it jump on the trampoline or eat his food. Thanks to Skype he is able to make his angry frown and scare his grandpa when needed.
However I could not have wage this battle if my other family had not stood by me at every step. I mean the project why family which encompasses my staff of course, but also all those who have believed in my dreams and made it possible. When I when AWOL and put my professional life on hold, they held the safety net that ensured that nothing went wrong. Every supporter of project why walked the extra mile to keep things as they were and rid of the guilt I could have felt or of the necessity of having to make choices.
As some of you may know, over the years my role in project why got curtailed, as that is what I wanted, and was limited to raising the missing numbers. Last year a very special Angel, whom I first met as a young school girl and who is now a spirited and beautiful young lady, heard my silent prayer and managed to send us a bag of gold that allayed all my worries and kept project why alive and kicking. Without her I do not know what we would have done.
And then ether were the innumerable people that commented on my posts, sent prayers and positive energies and advise and never made me feel alone. One such person is someone I grew up with way back in the sixties in Saigon, where our lullabies where the sound of guns and bombs. To have reconnected with her was nothing short of a miracle.
I also feel grateful to the ones who sent me books and even medicine to strengthen my determination in walking the winding path and fighting the men in white. That reinforced my will to try all shades of alternative therapies and come out a winner.
I was touched beyond words by the heart warming comments by people I did not even know. Yet each one of them was an intrinsic part of this journey that was once frightening but ultimately turned out to be the biggest boon in disguise for someone who grew up as an only child with her imaginary friends. Today that little girl is an ageing woman whose life is abundant in friends who care.
To all of you I say thank you and to use my grandson's expression: I love you all the numbers!
And the reason we have all followed you on this journey is because you are very special and have touched all of our lives. Hugs, Irene
ReplyDelete