I hear it in his voice

I must admit that the last months have been very difficult. Actually I should say the last year as Ranjan started feeling unwell in June 2012 and for a year we ran from pillar to post trying to find out the cause of his poor health. All possible tests and investigations were done, but they all remained inconclusive which made things harder as we were really groping in the dark. The only constants were his losing weight and his tumbling haemoglobin counts. It is only in early July this year that the beast was finally identified as Mr Hodgkin. Quite frankly this was the last thing I wanted but to finally know what it was a a huge relief as it allowed us to plan and start the best treatment possible.

I must admit that chemotherapy was not my first or come think about it my last preference, but a series of circumstances made me reluctantly agree to it. I did. But at the same time I decided to turn heaven and earth to find out how I could control the terrible side effects of chemotherapy because I could not have seen him in the throes of any of those. There had to be support therapies that worked. I did my homework better than I have ever done and worked out my brews and potions. We are down 3 and ready for 4, and it seems to be working. I keep vigil and am ready for any unexpected one, were it to happen.

The title of this post, I hear it in his voice, would not make sense if I were not to give you some background. In the past year as Ranjan's health dwindled, he sunk into depression and often use to ask me if he would make it. One of the worse moments for me was when this man of a few words, told me one day: I am falling apart. His entire persona changed and from an always cheerful and carefree man, he became sullen and withdrawn. One of the few persons he talked to was his favourite uncle. I was not privy to his phone chats but I guess there was a change.

Imagine my delight when this morning my aunt - said uncle's wife - called me and told me that she knew Ranjan was doing better as she heard it in is voice! She was kind enough to compliment me on this as she felt it was my doing. I am humbled but accept her accolade. I needed that pat in the back just to know that I am moving in the right direction. My mission is undoubtedly to give Mr Hodgkin the boot asap, but also to give back Ranjan his joie de vivre even if Mr H is still around. I have pushed him into a tiny corner of our lives and will not allow him to mar our happiness!

Thanks Chachiji for making my day!