Setback

I have always held that the Gods do get jealous. Or maybe it is their way of reminding us that we are not really masters of our destiny. Maybe we fall prey to our hubris too easily! I guess I stand guilty at this moment. Till this morning I was so proud of the fact that we had gone through 3 chemotherapy sessions without significant side effects, so happy to see Ranjan looking better and thrilled beyond words when the hospital scales showed he had gained 2 kilos! In spite of some annoying occurrences chemo 4 went reasonably well. I was looking forward to a relaxed afternoon and evening, reading or watching some TV with Ranjan next to me.

We do spend such tender moments together when words are not necessary. But that was not to be. Ranjan was feeling uneasy when we got back and went into a fitful sleep. I touched him and found him warm. The thermometer confirmed my worst fear: he had fever. Not a very high one, but high enough to slam my hubris and presumptions. Over and above that his uric acid was up so the doctors had advised to cut down his protein intake. The two put together shook my I, guess fragile, confidence once for all.

Now what! Would I have to review my regimen? Change what seemed to be going so well? I guess I do, but I must admit at this moment I am lost and feel helpless and all my earlier  confidence is shaky to say the least. Mr H has won one battle.

I know I have to regather my troupes and mount an attack. But tonight I am stunned and distressed. I just hope this fever is just a small rap on my knuckles.

Tomorrow is another day! But I am no Scarlett.