Listen to me please

We far too often underestimate and undervalue our brain. I have realised in the course of my existence,  how powerful the mind is in more ways then one. Our mind is the best healer we have at our beck and call and yet we rarely use it preferring to rush to our pill box and pop one not giving a thought to the harm it may do to our brain. Have you ever taken a moment to admire the working of our brain? I never did for long but now find myself taking that nano second to acknowledge its functioning. A word can trigger uncountable memories, so can a sound or a fragrance. But that is not all. Sometimes just lying down and letting your mind wander works far better than an analgesic.

I have also realised that medicine or therapies of any kind only work when your mind wills them too! If your are not in a positive frame of mind then no matter how good the medicine, it will not have the desired effect. On the contrary, it could work just the other way.

The mind/brain sends you messages that often go unheard. And then when we push it to a corner and ignore it, then comes the depression, the stroke, the heart attack! I have tried to keep Ranjan's morale as high as I could but since his last chemo I feel a pall of gloom descending on him. His initial will to fight zozo seems to be dwindling. I was really terrified when he told me yesterday that he may not live long as the dreaded crab had entered his body. He has forebodings about the next chemo that are almost visceral.

I know it is his brain talking, sending a message that it is saturated with toxins and cannot take any more. But who will listen. The doctors are blinded by their protocols and they treat every individual in the same way. But God made us unique, Dear Sirs, and gave us humans the capacity to think and make choices. But we too have fallen into the trap and forgotten to listen to our instinct and intuition. We listen to others but not to ourselves.

Why can we not stop at chemo 11? What is so sacred about chemo 12 when the body is screaming ENOUGH! But the darned protocol says 12. I wonder if it is about money, or targets or insurances, or simply hubris as it does not seem to be about the poor patient and his abused body.  Let us not forget that however successful the protocol, it can at best deal with 80% of the cancerous cells and that it is this very body that will be called upon to take care of the remaining 20.

I wish I could take that chemo 12 in my veins. It would complete the protocols and all other agendas and also make me go through what my poor love has gone through 11 times. I guess that I too, like all ageing human bodies have some cancerous cells dividing at that precise moment that would be destroyed, never mind the healthy ones that will die along the way. The protocol will have been followed.