The fight is on

Perhaps my writing has been a bit nostalgic and a tad defeatist lately. Some of you may even be feeling I am giving up. NO WAY! I am as charged up as ever though it is true that the past months have made me review and rethink about life in a new light, hence there are moments when one feels a little blue. I guess these are also much needed breaks when the adrenaline is pumping, breaks that remind you of essential things that get swept under the carpet when you are on a mission as I am.

Then of course there is the overwhelming reality of chemo ending that entails conjuring new schedules and time tables. Batteries need to be recharged and a walk down memory lane does just that.

There is also the need to step off the spinning wheel and take a moment to look back at the months gone by and bow one's head in gratitude for all the blessings that have gone unacknowledged. I remember how frightened I was of all the terrifying side effects imputed to chemotherapy. The past months with 10 chemos went almost side effect free. What a blessing it has been. Ranjan who I thought would lose weight actually gained some, much to his chagrin as he had visions of remaining a size 0. What a blessing again. I do not want to dissect why this happened, whether it was brew x or brew z, the important thing is that someone guided me in the right direction and for that I am truly grateful and humbled.

I thought it would be a lonely battle, but far from that, I have never felt so loved and supported by people known and unknown who have reached out to me at every step. I again feel blessed and humbled.

The fight is on. It would be foolish to underestimate the adversary. But one should not either underestimate the army that stands in its way.

The fight is on!