how beautifully they complement each other!

When I am not OK in my head and need to clear the cobwebs, I often find myself clearing up things: it could be the attic, old forgotten cabin trunks that must have travelled over the seas and across skies, or simply clearing book shelves in a vain attempt to organise them, I say vain because my books are always placed on shelves by 'heart' reasons and thus defy any logical sorting. As I was 'sorting' the book shelves in my den, I came across my elder daughter's doctoral thesis and found myself turning the pages. My eyes rested on the 'acknowledgment' page and the first credit was given to Ranjan and I, her parents. A rough translation - as her thesis is in French - would read as follows: To my parents who do not realise how beautifully they complement each other! When I first read this in 2003, it made me laugh as nothing could have been as further from the truth of the moment. In hindsight however, I realise that my first born could see with her heart and beyond all the layers and unearth a reality that would take a long decade and a terrible blow to see how right she was/is.

In 1974 when we first met it was literally love at first sight. But then life took over, and the complementarity gave way to sporadic parting of ways often to please or fulfil needs of others. The precious 'us' became sets of 'them' playing a futile game of one-upmanship.  And as we dug our heels, complementarity seemed well and truly hijacked. The love at first sight gave way to all kinds of shades and hues of emotions as far from love as you would imagine.

But in hindsight the spark was there, alive, sometimes a little shaky, but refusing to be snuffed out no matter what. It manifested itself in more ways than one, some as furtive as a wink no one saw or a word only we understood. Sadly it was never centre stage.

The love that saw the light of day in February 1974 would reclaim its place with a vengeance 39 years later, but it would do so in a way one does not hope for one's bitterest enemy. I guess I owe one to Mr Hodgkin as he is the one who played cupid in the life of this ageing couple. I only beseech him to move on quickly after having completed the task I guess the Gods assigned him with.

From the day we knew Ranjan had lymphoma, we both realised in our own way that it was the strength of our love that would get us out. Ranjan gave me the proof of his undying love for me: his complete trust and total surrender. He accepted every decision I took, every brew I asked him to swallow, even the bitterest ones. I on the other hand put my life on hold and devoted every single minute of my day to making his ordeal easier. The laughter that was lost somewhere along the way found its way back in our lives. All the words that lay unsaid in our mind and heart found their voice. Communication was reset. I hope we have enough time to say everything we need to, to each other and heal every wound and hurt. There is no time for recrimination or bickering. Only love and understanding.

They say every cloud has a silver lining. How true it is. Even the dark cancer cloud had the a wonderful silver lining called love or should I say the final realisation of how we have and do complement each other.

Thank you Mr Hodgkin, but now please leave us after 8 chemos.