The day before tomorrow

It is the day before tomorrow, tomorrow being Chemo 8. It is always a difficult day as one hopes and prays that all will go as planned. I mean not only the chemo per se but the efficiency of the hospital and the unnecessary delays that make Ranjan edgy. Imagine sitting on your bed by 8.15 and then waiting to things to begin. The mood takes a big dip. One wants it all over and there we are waiting for the nurse to get her act together, the doctor to sign the protocol, the pharmacist to mix the deadly cocktails to be ingested and the whole damn thing to start. The best case scenario for the gun shot has been 9.30 the worst 10.30! After that is waiting time as one watches the drops falling and tries to convince one's self that the poison is actually manna from the Gods! Not an easy task for me as I have read too much. Maybe being a neophyte of an illiterate makes this easier.

Have been thinking of how to make the waiting for this Godot easier. Maybe I will try to find some fun card game that we can play while waiting or a joke book. Don my clown nose and do some tricks. I do not think I really need a clown nose as my new hairdo will amuse the whole chemo care centre:) I will also try and conjure something more palatable than the sandwiches so that the waiting time can be used in feeding him as after the drip begins, the appetite goes AWOL sometimes for days. Of course the iPad is  replete with funny movies and that does help him pass some time. I watch him while I pretend to read and am thrilled and even moved when he laughs with his headphones on.

By the time the trial is over Ranjan is lethargic, the Bleomycin induced fever begins to creep in and the nauseous feeling kicks in. Actually the last time he started feeling nauseous as soon as he entered the centre. The ride back home is always horrid. And tomorrow with Dhanteras it will be worse. I just hope the whole thing ends early. Once home, Ranjan will take to his bed and as the fever rises and the confusion sets in, I will sit beside him and soothe him to the best of my ability. I will keep watch on the fever and pray that it comes down and that the morning after tomorrow is a good one.

Maybe I should rename myself as chemo girl! Feel like one!