It is official. After almost a year of investigations and running in circles, R has been diagnosed with Classical Hodgkin's t-cell histiocyte-rich large b-cell lymphoma. In a few hours I will be meeting two oncologists and get to understand what it means in a vocabulary I am familiar with. I want to know the stage, the kind (galloping or not), the prognosis, the treatment list, the side effects, the best case and worst case scenario. I am mentally prepared for it. I have done some advance study of support therapies and put R on a special diet that will help boost him up. Some is quite nasty tasting but he is extremely cooperative.
After getting all the answers I seek and processing it all, I intend to take some time and decide what course of action we will take. I would like the treatment to be humane and respectful of R's dignity.
It is a sort of crossroads for me as I know that once the decision is taken my life will change forever. The person that will write the next post will never be the one who is writing today. It is a coming of age of sorts. Quite frankly I thought I was done with those.
From what I have heard, chemotherapy, as I guess that what awaits us, is ugly and nasty. R and I have talked about it and one of the topics that came up was hair loss. He has very short hair, and so do I, but I guess the thought of being bald is not an easy one. I remember when he had a lovely mane of curly hair he would laugh at his friends with bald pates and call them moonshine. I guess it is sunshine days. I have decided to shave my head the day his hair starts falling. I guess we will be the Baldies!
The only way to beat this beast, that I call Zozo, is to learn to laugh in whatever way possible so that Zozo does not commandeer all the space in our lives. So there are many things on my to do list. I intend to get a punching bag and boxing gloves and have convinced R to give me a few boxing lessons. The punching back will have Zozo written all over it. I will also get a dart board and vent my anger and rage on these. I already walk 4 km at 6 km an hour and with every step I take I kill Zozo.
If negative thoughts beget illnesses as Norman Cousins says, then positive ones should ward them off. So we will laugh at our bald heads and at every blow Zozo tries to give. We will laugh all the way.
We want people to come, though we are quite happy the both of us. But we do not need commiserations, advice and any such nonsense.
Would love to have you on board. Will you come!
After getting all the answers I seek and processing it all, I intend to take some time and decide what course of action we will take. I would like the treatment to be humane and respectful of R's dignity.
It is a sort of crossroads for me as I know that once the decision is taken my life will change forever. The person that will write the next post will never be the one who is writing today. It is a coming of age of sorts. Quite frankly I thought I was done with those.
From what I have heard, chemotherapy, as I guess that what awaits us, is ugly and nasty. R and I have talked about it and one of the topics that came up was hair loss. He has very short hair, and so do I, but I guess the thought of being bald is not an easy one. I remember when he had a lovely mane of curly hair he would laugh at his friends with bald pates and call them moonshine. I guess it is sunshine days. I have decided to shave my head the day his hair starts falling. I guess we will be the Baldies!
The only way to beat this beast, that I call Zozo, is to learn to laugh in whatever way possible so that Zozo does not commandeer all the space in our lives. So there are many things on my to do list. I intend to get a punching bag and boxing gloves and have convinced R to give me a few boxing lessons. The punching back will have Zozo written all over it. I will also get a dart board and vent my anger and rage on these. I already walk 4 km at 6 km an hour and with every step I take I kill Zozo.
If negative thoughts beget illnesses as Norman Cousins says, then positive ones should ward them off. So we will laugh at our bald heads and at every blow Zozo tries to give. We will laugh all the way.
We want people to come, though we are quite happy the both of us. But we do not need commiserations, advice and any such nonsense.
Would love to have you on board. Will you come!
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