Etat second. I have always liked this expression. One of the dictionary meaning is: the state of mind into which some writers go when writing short stories. It mixes abstraction and concentration at the same time, ironically telling sometimes more facts than in conscious writing. Others call translate it as: trance!
I have used the expression in a slightly different way all through my life. To me Etat Second means a period of time when you step off the planet for some reason, and enter a parallel zone when your life is dictated by extraneous reason. It could be something as mundane as an examination, as credulous as your first heartbreak or as is the case now as harsh as chemotherapy.
Stepping into an Etat Second means giving up life as you know it and following the strict and inevitable regimen of the cause of your having to this. Your life is then dictated by a set of dates separated by a fixed number of days with each having its own diktats. One thing is certain you cannot change the protocol and anything else your normally do from caring for yourself, to pursuing your coping strategies, to completing your work responsibilities, to finding your 'alone' time, to having a cup of tea with a friend, to just taking a break has to be sneaked into the little moments where your loved sleeps, or is having a better moment.
The first 15 days will be a learning experience for everyone. R will have to learn how is body tolerates and reacts to the deadly cocktail that will be pumped into him and I will have to deal with each of these fighting the right strategy to counter the side effect: be it nausea, blisters in the mouth or exhaustion. We will need to conjure meals he can ingest and then hopefully enjoy. They will have to be presented in diverse ways to break the monotony as how inventive can you get with soup and smoothies!
Normal activities like bathing and dressing will also have to follow a new pattern. Bad days and good days will have to be carefully noted and numbered so that the next cycle is better organised and less exhausting. And this for the next six months, day after day after day.
Today is the last day of life as I have lived it. Tomorrow I enter my etat second.
Wish me luck!
I have used the expression in a slightly different way all through my life. To me Etat Second means a period of time when you step off the planet for some reason, and enter a parallel zone when your life is dictated by extraneous reason. It could be something as mundane as an examination, as credulous as your first heartbreak or as is the case now as harsh as chemotherapy.
Stepping into an Etat Second means giving up life as you know it and following the strict and inevitable regimen of the cause of your having to this. Your life is then dictated by a set of dates separated by a fixed number of days with each having its own diktats. One thing is certain you cannot change the protocol and anything else your normally do from caring for yourself, to pursuing your coping strategies, to completing your work responsibilities, to finding your 'alone' time, to having a cup of tea with a friend, to just taking a break has to be sneaked into the little moments where your loved sleeps, or is having a better moment.
The first 15 days will be a learning experience for everyone. R will have to learn how is body tolerates and reacts to the deadly cocktail that will be pumped into him and I will have to deal with each of these fighting the right strategy to counter the side effect: be it nausea, blisters in the mouth or exhaustion. We will need to conjure meals he can ingest and then hopefully enjoy. They will have to be presented in diverse ways to break the monotony as how inventive can you get with soup and smoothies!
Normal activities like bathing and dressing will also have to follow a new pattern. Bad days and good days will have to be carefully noted and numbered so that the next cycle is better organised and less exhausting. And this for the next six months, day after day after day.
Today is the last day of life as I have lived it. Tomorrow I enter my etat second.
Wish me luck!
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