Since the day we discovered that Ranjan had a lymphoma, life has taken a surreptitious 180 ยบ turn. Everything is on hold and I must learn to discretely weave the bits of my life I cannot give up. There is an elephant in the room. Whether we like or not. At best we can befriend it and accept as gallantly as possible that it will stay in our lives for the next 6 months. The problem with this elephant is that it takes all the space possible leaving you little too to breathe and do all the others things you need to. Whether I like it or not, I have to put my life on hold for the next 174 days.
The elephant room is chemo and the arsenal I have chosen to counter makes a very stringent time table. It starts at 6am and ends when Ranjan goes to sleep. So it covers at least 15 hours of my day. This time table necessitates stick adherence. Everything that goes down ranjan's throat has to be freshly prepared, never reheated so nothing can be made in advance. Vegetables and fruits need to be organic and thus sourced at different parts of Delhi. Calls need to be made to know when they are delivered. Then ranjan has to be coaxed to do things he does nor feel like: read, laugh but what is more important to make him talk and vent all that is bottled inside.
An eminent advocate of alternative medicines states that: people who tend to suppress anger are more prone to cancers than others. I for certain where Ranjan's cancer stems from. I also believe that if hegets it out, screams in rage, sheds angry tears and lets it out of his system by ultimately forgiving he will improve by leaps and bounds. So some time of the day is earmarked to help him talk. Not much success there.
Now in between all this, I have to sneak time to do the minimum needed for project why though my team is incredible, find some alone time to write and even to take a break and leave the house and the elephant. Not easy.
Must work on my coping strategies.
The elephant room is chemo and the arsenal I have chosen to counter makes a very stringent time table. It starts at 6am and ends when Ranjan goes to sleep. So it covers at least 15 hours of my day. This time table necessitates stick adherence. Everything that goes down ranjan's throat has to be freshly prepared, never reheated so nothing can be made in advance. Vegetables and fruits need to be organic and thus sourced at different parts of Delhi. Calls need to be made to know when they are delivered. Then ranjan has to be coaxed to do things he does nor feel like: read, laugh but what is more important to make him talk and vent all that is bottled inside.
An eminent advocate of alternative medicines states that: people who tend to suppress anger are more prone to cancers than others. I for certain where Ranjan's cancer stems from. I also believe that if hegets it out, screams in rage, sheds angry tears and lets it out of his system by ultimately forgiving he will improve by leaps and bounds. So some time of the day is earmarked to help him talk. Not much success there.
Now in between all this, I have to sneak time to do the minimum needed for project why though my team is incredible, find some alone time to write and even to take a break and leave the house and the elephant. Not easy.
Must work on my coping strategies.
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