Incarcerated or rather Incancerated

I just read the following lines in Jeffrey Archer's prison diaries:  I have now fallen into a routine, just as I had in the outside world, The big difference is that I have little or no control over when I can and cannot write so I fit my hours around the prison timetable. (A prison diary, Volume I Hell Page 150). Seems to fit me to a T with a few additions or modifications. First I have been incancerated and not incarcerated, and then have little or no control over when or if I can write but also on when and if I can run on the treadmill, read a book, go for a loaf etc. There is more, prison life is fairly monotonous and orderly. Incanceration is not the quite the same as you are entirely at the mercy of things like blood counts which bamboozle any plans you have made at the drop of a result. So we had planned to have a port fixed today and a comfortable chemo (meaning without needles) on Friday. And I had organised my programme around that. But come 6pm yesterday the TLC was 2000 and everything had to be reviewed and organised.

The port would not be placed and if all went well then there would be a chemo on Friday after another blood test to be done at 7.30 am at the hospital. So chemo or no chemo would be decided around 8 am on Friday. But there is more. An injection had to be conjured in the middle of the night to be given to Ranjan this morning. After rushing to many chemists and founding none, the injection was bought at the hospital around midnight. Now we wait for Godot again.

Incanceration is not for the cancer patient. He just has cancer and earns the privilege of becoming the centre of everyone's world. The cancer buddy, yours truly in the occurrence, is the one incancerated! Not only do I have to live one day at a time, that would be luxury, but one moment at a time.

Now for a person who likes a routine to the point of eating practically the same thing every day for 365 x n days, living in on the edge is a new experience I am finding difficult to adapt to. But I know I will have to if I want to survive incanceration!