Magical Mystery Tour

Living with Mr Hodgkin is nothing short of Magical Mystery Tour, or should I just say a Mystery Tour as Magical seems a bit out of place here. But mystery it is as you really do not know what will happen at the next bend. So we went to sleep yesterday with the certitude that we would have Ranjan's chemo port placed today. As for the ensuing chemo it was still a mystery as the blood counts were low and the Doc would decide after the port was placed and I guess after yet another blood test but no poke this time as the port would be in place. I must admit I had a bad night as I normally only sleep well when I am in control of things. No wonder my elder one calls me a 'control freak' and even a 'nag'! I prefer to say I am organised.

BreakingNews : I could not finish this blog and thus the chemo port drama was enacted and after twists and turns the port is in place and the third chemo done!

So with Zozo's arrival into our lives the 'control freak' has taken a lashing. I suddenly realise that my place has been taken by a new 'freak' who is the one to set the rules. However this one is temperamental, capricious and deadly. When we did not know of his existence, and that was for quite a few months, it manifested itself with symptoms that were similar to so many mundane ailments that we did not even begin to imagine the havoc inside Ranjan's body. We finally found him tucked behind the aorta in the abdomen. Once we identified him there was no turning back. The mystery tour had begun and would end only when the intruder would be annihilated. But this guy has game plans of his own and one is left with few choices. No choices in the life of a one is perceived by her own nears and dear ones as a 'control freak' though I prefer thinking I am organised to a fault, is unthinkable. To win this battle, I needed to feel in control. Not easy when the adversary is someone who has already beaten you twice. In hindsight I think this happened because when we met earlier I was poorly armed. To fight an adversary you have to know him, his strengths and his weaknesses. Only then can stay a step ahead and hope to win. In the 90s there was no Internet, no search engines and social networks. You fought alone or simply conceded defeat. But today that is not the case and my so called desired to 'control' may well turn out to be my greatest asset. In this case 'control' mean getting to know all that I can about Cancer and particularly Mt Hodgkin a.k.a Zozo!

You may wonder why I decided to call this journey a mystery one. Let me elucidate. Cancer had many avatars and forms and you need to recognise and master the one you are dealing with. That is step one. Then you need to ferret out the possible treatment and chose the one you want. If you chose 'chemo' as is the case with us, you have to comprehend how it works and more importantly accept that it is lethal, toxic and poisonous. Hence all the dreaded side effects. You have to come to terms that you are poisoning the one you are treating. That is a toughie for me but in this case, and this one alone, I have accepted it with my head if not my heart. That is the mystery bit.

So what does the heart do? Well it goes on looking for magic tricks that will counter the side effects and heal and not kill. There is one caveat. All your tricks should not interfere or counter the chemo. A difficult one but believe me if you have the patience and the passion then there are hosts of trick in the magician's hat. Diet for one. Then alternative medicines - I chose Tibetan and one Ayurvedic plant that complements the Tibetan pill -, then the right exercise regimen - in our case yogic breathing as the cancer cells hate oxygen, and the trampoline to keep the lymphatic system moving. So you can imagine what a tight time table this is. Does not leave much time for anything else. However if you want to survive the drill that is interspersed with chemo sessions and blood tests, you have to be able to remain that control freak whose regimen was as strict and well planned. Ah ha! The clash of the Titans. But there is a way out. It is a choice you need to make. Which one takes the front seat. Ranjan's cancer of course. Then you take the back one and accept a little flexibility and juggling and fit your regimen in the tiny and ever changing spaces that are available.

This my friends is my Magical Mystery Tour!